Last of these years.

I am 19.
Enterted into the last year of my teenage life. It feels so good and yet slightly sad.

It feels good, I'm growing up. I am indpendent , living my own life.

But im sad. Im sad that a part of my childhood is gone without me even have had it.

Its the past. I let it go. Im happier now. I want so badly to just go off and say whats in my mind. I cant though. I just cant.

I know a part of me is breaking inside. I feel aloe ( I know im not) but thats how i feel. My body aches everyday, i cant sleep , i cry .

i've been praying a lot more but im sad.

Im sad for my family more than anything. I hate seeing people destroy themselves. it eats me alive. I just want to BREAK. Crack up like an egg. Sometimes Im like a time bomb. TICK TICK TICK..... just waiting to go BOOM!