Lost , Lonely , Homesick , and Imperfect.

Are people with morals and standards considered uncool in todays society? I would love to say yes , but i dont think they are. I have morals and some see me as the "wet blanket" "prude" and "loser." Just because i have something i bealive in does not mean im not fun. In fact my really good friends will prob tell you im the funniest and kindest person they know. I would rather be called that than drunken girl who hooks up with everyone. I try not to judge , but i sometimes do. I try to do my best but sometimes I mess up. Its just the fact of life. You will FAIL. You will mess up. You will fall down. I choose to get back up. Even if it takes sometime I do it. I get up brush myself off. I want to be who I am. No matter how many people point and make fun of me. I dont want to be something im not. Which kind of gets me to what i really wanted to talk about. The fact that i have bene feeling very lost. Im not sure who i am. I did soemthing totally not me. Now i feel broken. I feel so sad./ I really need to go home for a visit. and i am. it will be good. I know it will. I do love being imperfect. But sometimes i wish i wasnt me. I wsh i was the girl that everyone wants to be. you know the type tall skinny pretty. Anything thats not me. I wont ever be that girl but who am i? the dorky chubby girl? Is that all i am. what about what i feel inside? what abotu the girl who loves the outdoors? Who use to lvoe to sing? who actually used to TALK? why am i silent. I also want to know why i let my heart be broken. WHY???So many questions. No answers. not yet. I can live with that. I can live with that because i know tomorrow is a new day. A new begining.
PEACE. LOve . and some straight up HARMONY.

I think It is time I stopped dreaming and opened my Eyes.

Boys. I tried staying away from them in high school. Didnt want to do that. I didnt want to be "that girl." You know the type . She CLINGS to her guy , with him 24/7 , talks about him and has drama RAMA. Thats not me. Yet, somehow moving away from home and going to COLLEGE Ive gotten into drama rama with the boys. I really want to go on. But im so sore and tired from Kickboxing i cant move my arms anymore. UGHHH.
BAsically though. I have to stay away from these boys. its sad cause the sweetest boy , the one i really would love to have a part of my life is Unattainable. Out of my league . NAda zero all that. I dont need boys. I need to focus school YALLLLL.

ok ill blog tomorrow . SCOUTS HONOR.


loves. peace and some straight up harmony.